Today it dawned on me that I am a happy person. And it did because I realized I love doing research! In the last weeks I was in a small elementary school doing my project on listening comprehension with children K and 1st grade (5 to 7 years of age). It's so interesting to see how they think, what performance they have, how they talk, and how they play. It is amazing to see the children thinking! I also developed a respect for elementary school teachers, for their effort, patience, and smile. Don't understand me wrong, I do not dream about being elementary school teacher, nor higher grades, and even if I am a college teacher I don't consider that my most important feature. OK, don't tell this to those administrative people responsible for my tenure :-) I just LOVE doing research! I am happy when I do, and I do not mind to be at school from 8:30AM to 2:30PM every day. My research goes so slow I am afraid I won't be done in time, but I love what I am doing. Every day I come home tired but so happy, I am completely joyful! I am excited and happy to leave early morning drive 40 minutes to that school and meet new kids.I was wondering why I am not as excited when I do teaching? What makes the difference between teaching and research? Perhaps the fact that research means being a teacher and a student in the same time. Knowing what one is looking for, having a research design, but in the same time being inquisitive and learning from the conducted experiment. Also it is the difference that every study is a new one. I know you will tell me to make every time my courses different, which I do! I change every semester something, I experiment with my style.
I wish research would be my main task, then teaching just when I would like to, and the service to be at my choice and not according to fixed and required demands. I will never like the administrative part of my job. I am not against accountability, I am just against things that I personally do not consider important ...
If I were to choose a perfect job that would be a research position done in teams, with changing team members, and changing tasks. Always a new task once the current one is accomplished. I would like to be allowed to use much creativity, flexibility, flexible hours, and flexible places to work (I definitely work better from home in my living room than from SIUE in my small office with no windows). I do not mind working 12 hours when something needs to be done by deadline, but don't ask me to do administrative tasks that have nothing to do with the project I am working on. The place where I work is important for me, I love windows and natural light. Of course the perfect place to work would allow me to bring Taylor since she is most of the times cuddling in her bed or in my lap, and I would not worry that she is alone. I would like to continue teaching part-time. I like to be in contact with students, to push them think, to help them develop their knowledge, and to be myself a student, since I learn every semester from my own teaching. Training or teaching should be part of my dream job.
But till I get that dream job, I enjoy doing my research, and the groups of students as I had this semester.
I am a happy person! Thank God!