Love with purpose

Since 2000 I grow my hair with a purpose: Locks of Love.
Since my hair grows very slow it takes 3-4 years to have a 13" length gift and be left with something myself :-)
I love my hair, it is a nice hair. I really take care of it, and I use good shampoo and conditioner (Biosilk, Abba, Biogenol). The good news is that here my hair is much healthier than down in AZ, since it is not as dry, and is much curlier, it does not grow faster though :-)

I expect that by Christmas or my birthday next year my hair will be long enough to be a gift of love.
My Mom had very long hair, till her ankle. I cut it off for her till her shoulders; I think it was ten years ago, and now is back as long as her extended hand. My Mom's hair grows like grass in my yard :-) Her hair is much nicer, much stronger, now is grey, but once was dark brown, almost black.

I had my first ever hair cut when I graduated middle school and went off to commute for high school. I remember when I cut my hair my Mom was very upset. It was Dad who came with me to the hair salon to have it cut. I left having my hair longer than my hand and I came home with shoulder-long hair and the rest of it in a plastic bag ... I cried morning and evening for two weeks, and Mom cried with me. Then when I graduated from high school I had another major hair cut. That was by a mistake, the hair dresser choped up my hair and the only way to have a decent shape for graduation was to cut it all. I had the shortest hair among all guys (boys also!). My hair was less than 1"! I had little round eye glasses (the John Lennon style). On the class pictures everyone thought I was a boy :-) Then I went to college and I kept my hair short till after graduation when I started my engineering career. Then I started to grow my hair again.

But now I don't just throw my hair in the trash. I make a gift to Locks of Love and I feel very good about that. I don 't mind having for Christmas short hair again. Actually I am looking forward, knowing that someone will be happy to have it and perhaps the person will think about how much I loved my hair to make it a Christmas gift.

Full house

Yesterday we had a full house. Oliver (the dog) is visiting with us since last Thursday until next Sunday because his owners are vacationing in Spain. Kinga (5 years, in red pants with Taylor) and Jordan (2 1/2 years, holding tight to Oliver) were here 10Am to 1Pm to play.

We started with coloring in books and then painted some crafts. Kinga choose the butterfly, Jordan the dog (obviously she was more interested by Oliver than us the humans), and I painted a turtle to give it as a gift to a friend who collects them (actually she collects frogs...). Then we took a walk to the beach where they climbed the play house, and took a swing (till they got bored and we needed to move one). We had lunch then played some more :-)
I don't know who had more fun: we the humans or the two dogs, perhaps all of us!

I enjoyed the two little girls, I know I am good with kids, and always was better with kids than with adults. Adults are so serious, they have those big people talks, they are not as fun as little ones. With kids we can invent games, we can laugh, and change quick the topic of conversation and play (they get bored fast), we do things! Perhaps that is the most important in our relation "We do things!"

When teaching about gender issues to my students I mention that friendship relations are many times different for women and men. Usually women sitting face-to-face enjoy talking and sharing emotions, words, tears, touch and hugs. Men usually are shoulder-to-shoulder and doing something, might design a project, build, share opinions looking at something (be it a car, a lawn, or watching a game). I also mention that many times this categorization falls into the category of stereotype, since there are men who love just talking to their male or female friends, as there are women who base their friendships on the action part in their relationship to female or male friends.

Thinking about my relationships and asking myself why I feel more comfortable with kids I realize that it is not kids by exception I enjoy, but it is the "doing" part of it. Just sitting and talking, chatting, sharing the words is not pleasurable for me. I need to feel the person involved in a common goal. I need to look at the same target with my friends, to do together something, to build a common good, to have a common goal. And then I tell myself that it is not the gender stereotype, but it is personality style. For me it is more important to have a common goal that we can base our friendship, words alone become a ground for friendship only if shared for building a common goal. I need to create something with words, I need a target, I need to build with words, otherwise they become just plain talk which in my opinion is boring!

I will forever be an engineer :-)
Oh, this is another stereotype...

Racehorse

When we were applying for jobs and going to interviews my friend Scott said once that if I am hired those who hire me don't know yet that they buy a racehorse. I did not understand what does he means and Scott explained me that it stands for "hard worker." :-) Scott said that when I start the race then I run it all the way with full speed.

There are also other kind of "horses" that do not race, and do not even work hard...

I am wondering if the racehorse will ever understand the backyard horse who walks at leisure slowly moving his little carriage. Will the racehorse ever wonder how can the other one be so slow and not even care?

OK, I do ask myself how in the world can someone not care about the work on which depends its future? I might be passionate about my work, or perhaps I really take it too serious... I don't mind spending numerous hours in doing my research, working lots of late nights to keep it going, and I really cannot understand how someone wants to get far without any effort. It is perhaps because I saw my parents work hard for all that they accomplished. It is because I worked very hard to accomplish my dream, and perhaps I think that there is not easy way to get to the goal but by working hard.

I still have 5 kids to test that is other 3 days after teaching. I can say that my research was "tones of time" since I am slowly to child 76 and each testing is 55 minutes. Just to go there it takes 40 minutes one way. Many many hours, many days, many miles driven, and gas spent... This is my race and I run it in the hopes that I will be a winner.

You know, I am sure that the racehorse must wonder how in the world can the other one be so slow and even don't care :-)

Thank you Scott for giving me a good name, glad I am not barn sour!

Like a sick child

Taylor is sick. She must have eat some poisonous bug on our walk or got a strep from obedience school from other puppies?
Last night we did not sleep too much, she woke up every other hour to throw up and go to bathroom having diarrhea.
I chose Dr. Olsen as her doctor because he cares for his own emergency patients. I never thought I will use it but this morning at 8AM I did called him. And Dr. Olsen called me back in 2 minutes (I think his cabinet phone is connected to a pager). He advised me to just give her ice cubes or water and keep an eye on her.

Taylor sleeps powerless, shivers from time to time, and cries in pain like a little sick puppy. I feel so helpless and I can't do anything else but keep her in my lap to comfort her. She did not even move when finally I got hungry and went to the kitchen to have lunch. Other times she was right there just hearing my steps going towards the kitchen. Now she rested between the warm blankets. I feel so helpless... and I think this is how many mothers with small babies must feel when the baby is sick. Babies as dogs/animals cannot tell you what is wrong, where it hurts, what they feel. What a Mother's Day...

A couple of weeks ago I read an article (I don't remember if in the news paper or in Time magazine or on the web?) about the importance of pets in women's life. "Many women dog owners see their dog as their child" and "many women would date their dogs if they were men."
Taylor definitely is my child and companion. Many psychological studies show the benefits of pets for depressed and elderly people. I know Taylor keeps my life in equilibrium. The fact that I feel happy today is in part due to having Taylor in my life. I am never alone.

She lost weight, she is "pale" (those who have a dear pet know what I mean), and I feel so helpless not being able to help her more. She threw up an hour ago (nothing since she did not even drink water), I'll wait a little more, if she throws up again Dr. Olsen said to call him back. Poor Taylor... and tomorrow I start summer classes and must leave to school 7Am and after that I have some meetings till 3PM. I think I will take her with me in case she gets worse I will just cancel all meetings and take her to Dr. Olsen.
Prayers are welcome.

Happy Mother's Day!

My Dad never remembers special celebration days (birthdays, anniversary, Mother's Day). I had to always remind him to get something for Mom for the special days. Now I am like my Dad. Even if TV and radio reminded me every day about Mother's Day I still forgot! I have a couple of "foster Moms" to remember for Mother's Day: in AZ, CA, and NY. I did remember Sha, and it was because we talked recently and she told me that for Mother's Day they are at a JRT trial and extended with vacation. I also remembered my Mom (even if there Mother's Day last Sunday, always on the first Sunday of May). But I forgot to remember in time my other foster Moms... Called them today and mailed cards today... of course they will not get there but only next week. In the rush and fever of my research and getting all ready for Monday's start of Summer classes I did not realize that times goes by so fast and that I need to mail cards a week sooner. As with Vince's birthday a couple of weeks ago now I was late with greeting all my Moms :-)

My real Mom is a wonderful person, she will never be called a saint, but I believe she is one. Loving, patient, helpful, forgiving, gracious, giving, generous with her time, money, life, and heart. I never met another person like my Mom. She has an extra sense, a special gift from God. She knows how to comfort and listen, how to encourage and help in time of need. She knows people, and can see what will be in the future. She is a wise person. I don't know anyone who prays like Mom and who believes in God as strong as she does, even if she is not a church going person she believes more than any regular clergy. When she prays she means it! We used to laugh and say that Mom is more Catholic than a bishop. She loved and respected John Paul II, even if she is not a Catholic (she belongs to the Reformed church). When I was soul searching and courted the thought of becoming a nun my Mom never said to not do it, she was never against it. She said what she usually tells me when I face a tough decision: "if you feel that this is what makes you happy, go for it."

My Mom is a saint, unknown, and she is now 66 years old. I cannot imagine life without her. I hope I will not have to! I know she loves me so much she would not die before me, just to spare me of the terrible pain. But that is in God's hands... I rejoyce in having her now!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!
Happy Mother's Day to all my Moms!

Quantitative vs. Qualitative

The other day I was joyful saying how I love my research. Quantitative research takes so much time... I don't wonder anymore why my colleagues do not do quantitative research in education... and they focus all their efforts to do qualitative research (only!).

I started my research last semester and continued it this semester. Each day when I had some free time I drove to the elementary school I conducted my reaserch with K and 1st graders. Since it takes me a good hour (even if there are only 35 Ml) to get there I worked very slow in this semester but I speeded up with daily full day work in this short break between Spring and Summer semesters. This morning I drove as usual 8Am to possibly finish (since in a full day 8:30AM to 2:30PM I can work with a maximum of 5 children, due to their lunch break) but the kids had today Play Day! The secretary has forgotten to tell me yesterday that I will not be able to work today.

That is bad enough since I start from Monday to teach 8-11:15AM and even if I leave right after my class I can get there just to test two children 12:30 to 2:30PM. School will be over soon.
I appreciate all the help the Principal and teachers gave me, I appreciate the goodness and trust of parents who agreed to have their children participate in my study. When I started I did not think it will be so much time and effort invested in this. Lot of time, money on the Lego toys I use, money on the pictures I made for the Picture books, money on gas, driving, treats to kids, my time added in the nights to catch up with what I did not do in daytime :-) But I still love it! I come from a school where I was taught the value of quantitative research! Even when I do qualitative I must measure something, transform observations into numbers, compare and evaluate. My colleagues laugh at me how I want to do qualitative research. But that is how I think: I use numbers, I measure, and compare!

My other research I work with a colleague (since I need a second rater) might become two different projects. I think I completely scared him when I presented him what I need and want him to do. Got today a phone from him telling me that what was my idea would take him to rate "tones of time!" and he does not have time since is preapring to travel to Greece in vacation in two weeks. So, I'll let him do what he will want and that will be one project. I'll do my stuff and that will be a study.

I love it! Now in the coming weeks I will run after courses to the elementary school to continue and hopefully finish my study after more than half of year since I started it.
Wish me luck to get something out of it! With numbers... never know if the results will be statistically significant or not.

Captain Taylor

Yesterday our neighbors Sandy and Jerry invited Taylor and I, Jo Ann and Don, and one other friend of theirs to a boat ride and dinner afterwards.

The weather was wonderful. We all were concerned that it will be windy and cold, but the Sun was shining and the breeze was just pleasant. Only a couple of clouds were flying on the sky. The boat was going slowly splitting the clear and peaceful waters. It was a gorgeous day.

Taylor and Snikers (their little Shi Tzu) were enjoying the ride. Taylor was more courageous she liked to look over the waters like a little captain searching for the way ahead.

It was interesting seeing from the other side our dam and the little beach we walk every day. We have seen many beautiful houses on the lake also. Taylor was almost ready to jump to swim a couple of times, but I did not let her jump since the waters are still cold.

In a month or so Taylor will enjoy swimming again :-)

Picture or words...

"A picture is worth a thousand words!" - this is true for only some of us!
Even though I teach about learner type and always draw my students' attention that there are three basic big categories people learn stuff: Visual learners (who need charts, drawings, and pictures), auditive learners (who need to listen and hear the sounds of the words), and kinesthetic learners (who need to do things, motor action, and act upon the task to be learned). I am definitely a visual learner, and am aware of the other types of learning since I do use them at times for certain tasks. When taking a learning style test actually I scored almost equal in all three, with two points difference having on top the visual learning style.
Depends on what I am asked to do I use a certain style, and I think this is how most of us learners are.

I did not thought that the difference might be so stringent when we talk about maps.
If you give me a map I can go around the world, I never get lost if I have a map and I know where is North. I am not too good on reading the stars, but I know where the Sun is :-)
I traveled the West coast from Tucson, AZ up to Eugene, OR. I visited ten major cities on my 3940ML long trip in 18 days and never got lost, not once. I had maps!

Yesterday I realized that the saying "a picture worth a thousand words" is not true for everyone when it comes about driving directions. I tried to tell a friend of mine how to drive to a furniture store that goes out of business (big savings!) in a little town close to my subdivision. The moment I took a sheet of paper she jumped to tell me "Don't you dare draw me again a map!" And that was because when I invited her to dinner to my house I draw her a very nice map with all major roads, arrows for directions, and even showing the North, but she and her husband managed to get lost, call me from the road to give them directions, and arrived here two hours later :-) They just could not figure out and use the map.

This time I started to use the in-words driving directions style. It seems in my mind I just put the map in words because when she read the directions she told me "Now, this is no better than your maps, what is North, East, West, write me down where I turn Right and where I turn Left!"

The weird thing was that yesterday I received some driving directions to a place I will go today to dinner and were all in words! The person did not list the actual address, and gave the major road from downtown St. Louis (I did not get as far in the last year), the final destination was "the third house on the left" so I couldn't just do a google map search. It was my turn to ask for the address and pop up for myself a picture map :-)
The only time I ever get lost while driving is if I have only words "turn left, turn right, bla, bla, bla"
I need to see it! I am Thomas unbeliever :-)

John Lennon face

It was last December for the School of Education Christmas party when from a joke with a very interesting and famous painter - Dennis DeToye - my picture was taken. Just joking I told him that he should paint my face since he might never have the chance again to paint someone from Transylvania. Dennis DeToye painted my portrait, and graciously gave it to me as a gift. Now finally it is hanging on the wall of my living room. What is interesting is that everyone who sees it asks me if I love so much John Lennon to have his portrait painted for me :-) This is not the first time I am told that my face resembles John Lennon's (which is an extraordinary honor !). When I was in high school I had exactly these round glasses as John Lennon and very short hair, just like him. When we had our pictures taken the photographer mentioned that I might be his relative, and everyone who saw that picture they saw the resemblance (I had the shortest hair among all graduates, including boys!).

So, I will not tell anyone that the portrait is actually mine, it is John Lennon! :-)

Love my work!

Today it dawned on me that I am a happy person. And it did because I realized I love doing research! In the last weeks I was in a small elementary school doing my project on listening comprehension with children K and 1st grade (5 to 7 years of age). It's so interesting to see how they think, what performance they have, how they talk, and how they play. It is amazing to see the children thinking! I also developed a respect for elementary school teachers, for their effort, patience, and smile. Don't understand me wrong, I do not dream about being elementary school teacher, nor higher grades, and even if I am a college teacher I don't consider that my most important feature. OK, don't tell this to those administrative people responsible for my tenure :-) I just LOVE doing research! I am happy when I do, and I do not mind to be at school from 8:30AM to 2:30PM every day. My research goes so slow I am afraid I won't be done in time, but I love what I am doing. Every day I come home tired but so happy, I am completely joyful! I am excited and happy to leave early morning drive 40 minutes to that school and meet new kids.

I was wondering why I am not as excited when I do teaching? What makes the difference between teaching and research? Perhaps the fact that research means being a teacher and a student in the same time. Knowing what one is looking for, having a research design, but in the same time being inquisitive and learning from the conducted experiment. Also it is the difference that every study is a new one. I know you will tell me to make every time my courses different, which I do! I change every semester something, I experiment with my style.

I wish research would be my main task, then teaching just when I would like to, and the service to be at my choice and not according to fixed and required demands. I will never like the administrative part of my job. I am not against accountability, I am just against things that I personally do not consider important ...

If I were to choose a perfect job that would be a research position done in teams, with changing team members, and changing tasks. Always a new task once the current one is accomplished. I would like to be allowed to use much creativity, flexibility, flexible hours, and flexible places to work (I definitely work better from home in my living room than from SIUE in my small office with no windows). I do not mind working 12 hours when something needs to be done by deadline, but don't ask me to do administrative tasks that have nothing to do with the project I am working on. The place where I work is important for me, I love windows and natural light. Of course the perfect place to work would allow me to bring Taylor since she is most of the times cuddling in her bed or in my lap, and I would not worry that she is alone. I would like to continue teaching part-time. I like to be in contact with students, to push them think, to help them develop their knowledge, and to be myself a student, since I learn every semester from my own teaching. Training or teaching should be part of my dream job.

But till I get that dream job, I enjoy doing my research, and the groups of students as I had this semester.

I am a happy person! Thank God!