End of semester

The picture is of my EPFR 315 students. They are good students, talkative, inquiring, and thinking of what they learn. Some were better than others, but I think (and hope) all have grown into better professionals. A couple of them have good writing skills, other ones have struggled a lot with writing, but improved along the semester, using my feedback.
I really hope all enjoyed the blogs (some struggled with it). I pushed them to think about the theories we learned, to reflect, and give examples of use in their future career.
Some told me that they never thought about the connections I was "forcing" them to make... I feel close to them, I really will miss meeting with them twice a week, and spending my weekends checking on their postings :-)
I won't have too much time to miss this work since I continue to teach this summer starting May 15th. I'll teach the Adolescence class I taught in the Fall (and I know at least one of these students above will take the course again, that will be fun to have one familiar face).

With the graduates I did not get as closer. Last semester my small sections were much closer. It is so much about class dynamics, it depends so much who are the students in the class. I have some great students in the graduate group. I see all of them developing and becoming better thinkers. I know, and I learned that they did not like the constructive style I used, giving feedback to improvement instead of grades for each performance. I was looking for mastery and improvement through the use of feedback. I think I did not do a good job of describing in the beginning this style, I should have been much more explicit, presenting my reasons in details. I am convinced that my style did work.

I received an e-mail from one of my students (in EPFR 515) who thanked me for using this style that made her broke the schema and scrip about what a graduate course means. She wrote that she learned a lot and will apply in her work what we learned.
This is a praise that any teacher would dream about!
I know they know more and have better skills because of this course. I also know they were uncomfortable because is a different style. I might back up a little and combine and meet them at the middle. Innovation is good, but needs to be implemented in small steps.

AAUW

I even forgot to tell you the news that I revived the AAUW branch at SIUE.
It started all with not being accepted to any of the boards and committees I applied for last semester. I never got farther than my e-mail application and request to be part of the committees and boards and task force groups, which resulted always in rejection.
Then I thought I should search for the AAUW branch since all my graduate student life I was a member at large. I thought those might need a volunteer or something and can help me out to have some service for my tenure file. But inquiring for that I found out that the branch was disbanded and there are only two other branches in Alton and Wood River. Of course I asked what needs to be done to revive the SIUE branch... So, I got the answer that I should start by gathering members. After many e-mails on the faculty listserve which were not responded but by the girls in my department, I decided to make an action. If women faculty will see activity perhaps would be more interested in becoming a member.

Previously I was at Women faculty meetings and I found out their interest: Family Friendly University Policy. Next, I started sending e-mails to executives and other people in AAUW. Many were the ideas and offers, but I was stubborn and wanted a professional to talk having good knowledge and experience with the law and policy making. Finally after many many many e-mails, that all were nagging and sometimes harsh, I got what I asked for. Sarah Warbelow from the Legal Advocacy Fund came down from Washington DC. Last Monday April 17th, we had the action. We were around 26 in total with the help from other branches. Linda Henning Cohen our State Membership VP came down from Chicago also. Sarah had many good ideas, I took lots of notes. Now there are 25 members and we had elections.

We had elections and I ended up having the gavel :-)
Yes, I am the new President of AAUW SIUE - Edwardsville - Glen Carbon branch.
Now I have something to do next...

Make them think

I take a short break to post this. My eyes are tired and I lost patience reading on my students' final exams blogs. The whole idea was to make them think. I knew they hate papers, and if I ask them to write me a final exam of 20 pages they will be in rage. I also wanted to bring something new in... I mentioned before the reasons behind the blog as final exam.
The grad students did a good job. After all the pain and intensity of the semester I think I reached my goal. They do think about the content. More or less... some of the postings are very good. But even the ones who have more trouble with the content they still are able to think about good examples in the classroom.

My undergrads are not as deep (some are very good, the best of my students). Some postings are rushed, just to have the job done! My work is long and hard... to read 52 blogs. And not only one time since I give them comments then I have to go back and see what and how they modified. And all are impatient. Take a couple of very short nights, better said short sleep... But I hope the end result is that they do think and are able to apply the content learned. I think because I reduced the lectures to minilecture and asked them to read the text, and discuss in class, reflect, and give examples, and show how they will apply it; all that helped them to understand and think critically about what they learn. And hopefully remember better (meaningful and personalized information should stay longer in memory).

The only easy in this style is that I have all online, can access it anytime (OK when the blogger.com is not down) , and they have instant feedback and do not have to wait till next class time. I like this style. I am not sure though how to use it in summer session. It is 3 weeks course daily 3hours 15 min class. But I will be able to use it for graduate class which is 2 months with one meeting/week for 4 hours 30 min.

OK, it's midnight ... I will finish reading and commenting all blogs tonight that students can work on this weekend.
And I must finish an article for submission also. No car washing this weekend again. My car is so dirty... I cannot belive, and it makes me nervous. I have to find a neighbor's kid who wants to make some $ on car washing.

Easter guest

You guessed, we had Oliver as a guest for Easter.
Taylor and Oliver had fun playing till I was working on school stuff. Oliver's owners were in a trip, so Oliver spent Easter weekend with us. He is a very sweet dog and Taylor likes him, but she tells him who is the boss when it comes about food.


Easter just came upon me this year. I did not have time to think about it, I feel now so guilty. Lent... I forgot about fasting... I am still on a high cholesterol diet so I really do not eat meat. I should have avoid chocolate... I keep it low. In fact I did not do anything for this Lent, not even reconcile with myself. Easter this year just came upon me.

God must be disappointed... Sometimes I feel guilty that I dive so deep into secular life and keep the minimal Sunday church going as spirituality. Do I wish to do more? Not really... Sadly...
I think the time when I was so enthusiastic about becoming a nun has gone also. It was only because I wanted to change careers, and once I decided to go back to school, my desire of becoming a "Sister" has vanished slowly. I love God even if I am not a nun, and I am sure He loves me as much as he loves all of us, his children! I might not be the best of them... I try to stay on track, I try to listen more, and did come back from being astray.

Easter is all about the resurrection, and Hope. I feel I "died" a couple of times in my life, and raised from my ashes. I lost and found Hope. God has been so gracious and generous to me. Over and over again! God is good, and loving, and forgives those who trust in Him.
I learned in the last 44 years to let go, let God, and trust that all will turn for good if I do trust in Him. At times was very hard to let go, to trust, and hope. I was not the clay mixed with water for God to form a pot. I was the stone, that needed to be slowly and painfully sculpted and polished to be transformed into a cup. God has used hard tools and diamonds to polish me, to broke the hardness, stubbornness, and water to wash the dust.
I wonder if the cup of stone is finished? Does it need more sculpting, polishing, and washing?

I think it does need, and I hope it won't be as painful as it was.
Easter is all about Hope! - my second guest this Easter...

My Mother said once that I am like a little branch in a sour cherry tree. They are extremely flexible. One can bend them in a circle and they never break. Then once you let it go the little shoot will pop back into its original length. Mom said that Life has bent me many times, but each time, after God gave me a little break, I popped back and continued my growth... Mom is so symbolic.

Hope is like that... is flexible, never breaks, even if bended and twisted, it will come back to its original shape. Hope will always see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is winding in the darkness. Hope will always see the rainbow above the dark clouds in the sky.
Hope and Love... even in the darkness never misses the target.
Hope goes forward against all hopes.
Might be that Love is the greatest, but what would be without Hope?

AERA @ San Francisco

Last long weekend (April 7-11) I was at AERA conference in San Francisco.
I am glad I visited San Francisco in 2003 because at this time around I did not have time to go visit anything. I really enjoyed AERA. At times is so frustrating that I could not be in three places at once :-) So many good (or at least appealing titles) presentations to go to. Then one time it turned out to not be what I was expecting, but to go from one place to the other would take me 15 minutes so I would loose from both... Just stay there and hope the next person will have a better presentation.
I've met new people, learned much, and was tired of running between persentations:-)

Most of all in this trip I realized how much I missed the big city. I forgot how beautiful can be in the crowd, with streets one walks, cars that stop at a jam, horns, bands singing at corners, the feeling of running life, and alive city. I am here in the corn fields... Of course I wanted to be in a quiet place, rural area, to have far away neighbors... I think I was tired after graduation and job search! Definitely!
I miss the big city, the opportunities to go to museums, meetings, programs, movies, parks...
I never thought I will miss the city, but I do!

Planning on technology

I think I got tired of my bulky 3-binder organizer. It takes half of compartment of my school case and it is heavy! I think the "heavy" is the main point here. I flip the pages to find things and the pages in the last year already got worn out. I want to have the same info on my organizer as on my computer without always writing it twice. I want to find the information at a click of a button, to not have to search through the pages. Might be I got too used with the click of the mouse on computer.
Conclusion: I decided I will make myself a gift at the end of scholar year, a "graduation" gift of my first year as Assistant Prof .
Since I decided I cannot afford to fly this summer to Europe (the tickets and entire trip being way too expensive for my present budget), and I will teach all summer long, I need a new toy :-)

Perhaps many would be surprised to find a woman making herself a "male" gift. This is the stereotype that men will buy for themselves electronics, tools, or cars. Perhaps that is why I never got married... I dream that Mr. Right will buy me a red Corvette, or a Harley-Davidson, or a professional camera, a plasma TV home theater, a Palm Pilot for Christmas :-) Hey, this is on my Christmas wish list, why does it bother you?

Since I did not meet yet Mr. Right, I decided to buy for myself a Palm Tungsten this summer (oh by the way, my gift subscription ended in mid March, but I did not use it but 4-5 times in the three months I had it. Lack of time, or lack of interest?). I consider the palm pilot a wise and very useful investment, and fun also! I am very excited of the new toy. Over the summer I will have more time to play with it.